There’s No Such Thing as Small Change

By Lisa SugarmanSo I found this stat in the New York Times online that says a third of us will break our New Year’s resolutions by the end of January. A third. By the end of January. Well that’s depressing. But don’t worry; I think I know why and how we can change it.New Years is the end and the beginning all at the same time so naturally it’s the perfect time to make changes. It’s the end of the year so we’re all a little antsy and ready for a change. We’re all super motivated to start fresh and clean the slate. So most of us give in to that natural impulse and take a good, long (and sometimes painful) look at ourselves. Then we figure out what we can do better. And that’s good. We’re supposed to do that; it’s human nature.Unfortunately most of us want to change so much so fast that we end up ripping ourselves down to the studs and have no idea how to move forward. We want to be a skinny, emotionally stable, non-smoking, professionally driven über-parent overnight. And that’s why we burn out so fast. We set these totally unrealistic goals for ourselves and then we collapse under the weight of them.We’re all so hung up on fixing everything (and doing it yesterday) that we forget that we can’t, that we’re not supposed to. Change takes time and commitment. But our culture has this affinity for instant gratification and this propensity toward perfectionism. So without even realizing it we’re constantly contradicting the old to-err-is-human and patience-is-a-virtue ideas. We forget that we’re supposed to screw up and we’re supposed to take our time. Because if we were all supposed to be perfect we’d be pre-wired that way.And I’m probably guiltier of this than anyone I know. That’s why this year I’m switching it up and I’m going to let myself screw up and I’m going to take my time doing it. I’m going to whittle my goals down and pick a few good ones. I’m going to minimize in order to maximize. And I’m going to plod along and take my time. And if everything isn’t perfect, well, then, I guess to err is human, right?We’ve become a society who expects that we can do everything instantaneously. We’re not driven by the process anymore; we’re driven by the result. People don’t seem as willing anymore to follow a path to get where they want to go—they just want to be airlifted to the end. But the trouble is, they’re missing the journey.I’m not sure who came up with this but it’s brilliant and it’s my slogan for 2010: “There’s no such thing as small change.” Feel free to try it on too and see it if fits.Lisa Sugarman lives in Marblehead, Massachusetts. Read and discuss all her columns at facebook.com/ItisWhatitisColumn OR read her blog at http://itiswhatitiscolumn.wordpress.com.